Is it natural silk? No, it's something heavier. It has a weight that is no weight at all. What is it that gives it the illusion of substance? Why is it so sensuous to touch? And I think of Dark Matter and how it is and isn't anything at all."I can't wear this," I say. "It's too gorgeous. I would be so afraid I might spill something on it, tear it by accident,"As I handle the garment, it seems to speak to me, whispers my name. The only thing that matters now is to put it on."You will honour the dress," Pandora says. "You try now — for size?"She comes to me, stands directly before me, her hand reaching for the top button of my blouse, deftly undoing it, moving on quickly to the next. She is too close, the tropic of her breath on my cheek, the zest of exhalation is like star anise and liquorice, flooding my mind.Chloe is behind me now, her fingers at my skirt's waistline manipulating its hook and bar. Their voices in some secret chorus assure me as they undress me, lulling words that. I wanted to start a federal funded grant research project called BEE.inc.( Biological enhancement engineering) then after a couple notebooks of writing down information about gene splicing and nanofabrication, I wanted to work for the CIA doing paramilitary operations. Meaning, basically i wanted to eliminate the monsters that exist on this wonderful blue ball we all live on. I was 14 and knew how to spell "Chechnya" and " Human Trafficking" before i knew the difference between" I want" and " I what". I even said in front of a class of 40 students during my last year of high school when i was giving a speech about 3 possible career paths that " Man get locked up, dogs get put down" Reforming to Shamil Basayev and the Beslan school siege in 2004.I joined the military in 2014 with the same mentality to help the greater good by getting rid of the rotten apples. But i went into aviation instead. I was more about helping mankind through biology than bullets. After some time i couldn't.
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